We Could Be Neighbours Again

This is my latest work, titled We Could Be Neighbours Again. 11x14, mixed media collage, with a price tag of $75 framed, and unframed prints are available for $20, in a variety of sizes. The type reads: "I will pierce thee to the core" and "I will hurt you with my hurt".

I am quite interested in the curator's reaction to it, as it is the piece going into the RBC exhibition. He will either accept it or he won't...the only reason I wonder about it, is because the subject matter is not entirely palatable. It's not a pretty water colour vase of peonies (not that there is anything wrong with that; in fact, those painters probably possess more technical skill than I have!).

Two sides, armed to the hilt, divided across space and experience threaten each other with weapons. Weapons can be so straight forward, like swords and guns, fists and size. Weapons can also be harsh words, inflicted hurt, guilt, judgment, resentment, fear. The conflict poisons the air. I am still working through the pain I've experienced over the conflict with my former church family about gay pride, so it's coming out in my work. It occurred to me that I am equally stubborn, judgmental, and un-neighbourly. C.S. Lewis says there are no truly evil people...just people that want something and have the wrong way of going about getting it. The church wants me to be straight again, or commit to celibacy for the rest of my life because in their view, being with someone of the same sex is against God's will. I want to be free and true to myself, leave behind self hate and embrace love in all its forms - I want to be fully alive. The church made it quite clear they couldn't have me as a member anymore, being an unrepentant sinner and all...and I turned my anger and hurt at the church to my individual friends and am in danger of ruining those relationships that are left. Both sides believe they are absolutely right and the other is woefully deceived. Both sides have wrong ways of getting what they want - and it has resulted in division, and a conflict that poisons the air between us. This is not neighbourly love, as God speaks about and Kierkegaard expounds upon. In Works of Love, Kierkegaard says: "It is in fact Christian love which discovers and knows that one's neighbour exists and that - it is one and the same thing - everyone is one's neighbour. If it were not a duty to love, then there would be no concept of neighbour at all. But only when one loves his neighbour, only then is the selfishness of preferential love rooted out and the equality of the eternal preserved." (pg. 58)
Preferential love is full of distinctions; good/evil, keener/slacker, serious/casual, believer/non believer, right/wrong, gay/straight. But God's love is not about distinctions or preferences - "Equality is just this, not to make distinctions, and eternal equality is absolutely not to make the slightest distinction, is unqualifiedly not to make the slightest distinction. Exclusive love or preference, on the other hand, means to make distinctions, passionate distinctions, unqualifiedly to make distinctions." (Pg. 70)

It hurts me deeply that church leadership (and others) seem to be practicing exclusive, preferential love. They would prefer me to be straight, they have excluded me from their congregation. But I have it wrong too. I would prefer them to be smarter, I have excluded them from my life too. Between us there is a stoppage of preferential love, but more importantly, a serious struggle with true neighbourly love, as God commands us to.

There are a few women who have stepped out into the no-man's land and have shown true neighbourly love. I am so grateful for them. I want to learn from them, not alienate them with my anger off-gassing everywhere....

To bring it all back to this collage - We Could Be Neighbours Again.